thepurpleone | Cyberformed [] Inbox

[It's unfortunately been an easier solution to getting emotionally overwhelmed. It's exhausting to deal with otherwise, and Donnie's found no lasting relief from it that it's just become habit to push it back into a closet. All he does is worry people anyway, and maybe they're just as tired of it as he is.

He sighs, letting his head sink back into his arms again. He's not even empathetic and he's still just as drained. Trying to solve problems is draining. Trying to do the right thing is tiring. And even when you do do the right thing, you end up exhausted. Maybe one day he can feel satisfied. But maybe one day he'll just be, as Princer put it, a magical cyborg.]

I don't know.

[It's his least favorite answer, but it's the only one he has. But he can agree with Anila's sentiment there. Dumb indeed. But sacrifice was a part of everything anyone did, just not to the extremes as they'd only recently dealt with.]

She didn't say. She only said that there was going to be treachery, and to take the book and perform the ritual, or else all those lives would be lost to power and greed if I didn't.

...but that's what ended up happening.

[Well at least Solus seemed to know a little bit of what she was talking about.

Anila pulls her other leg up, wraps her arms around her knees and rests her chin on them.

The thick feeling of being swallowed by blood, the weight and pain of all those souls. And she was useless, just like she is now, she--

Anila loosens her fingers from where they are digging into her arms. She isnt certain what triggered the surge of memory and emotion but now isn't the time. She has to keep herself under control.]

Yeah...

[Her voice is a bit distant.]

Doesn't feel great. Even if we got what we went there for. I-- for what it's worth, as much as I wished we had stopped it, I'm glad you didn't have to make whatever sacrifice Solus was asking if you. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to stop him sooner, to make sure you were never in that position in the first place."

If we managed to convince Shockwave, we might've instead had to face Akala. ...and I don't know how much better we would've fared against her.

[She'd been frightening enough even when she wasn't actively against them. It still worries him what all she might do, now that she's freed.]

...I could have put her back to sleep.

[Anila frowned. He was right of course, but it doesn't feel like it was a better or worse option either way. Just like everything else. An option where they would have had to pay some sort of price. Would the battle have been worse? Would more have died than just herself and a couple thousand souls?]

At least then the betrayal would have been expected. It wouldn't have even counted. At least it wouldn't have been one of our own

[She turns to look at Donnie, curiously.]

Back to sleep? Like with the Ritual?

[Donnie nods.]

A third option.

There was the Ritual of Forgiveness, which would free all the prisoners. The Ritual of Power, which killed them all to obtain power. ...and then the Ritual of Purity, which would put Akala back to sleep. The two thousand prisoners would be spared, but the sacrifices would potentially die.

[He counts each one off on his fingers.]

[She hadn't asked what the options were that he had been given and now, hearing them, her contempt towards Shockwave grew.

There were other options, other ways, just like she has been trying to find, and he took the one that cost the most for everyone but himself.]

Forgiveness would have still freed her then.

But you don't know what it would have cost.

It seems like Shockwave hardly paid anything. What is a few thousand souls when you don't care about a single one?

...there was a cost. But I don't know what would have been supplemented for it if it was even something Shockwave would have considered.

[Donnie knows only that it would have cost him if he had done so, his eyes drifting to his hands again.]

And he wouldn't have gained anything. Power's what he believes we need, and I don't know if I can say he's completely wrong in that. Not with everything we've been having to deal with. ...but it still doesn't justify what was done.

[She huffs, it's not directed towards him, but everything in general. Dramatic and a little bit immature.]

Absolutely not. Power rarely leads to anything good, even if it helps in the moment.

I... I understand why he didn't. But that doesn't mean I agree.

He didn't even give us a chance. Not really

[Her voice dropped a little quieter. She was supposed to be the adult here and here she was pouting.]

Have you talked to Annie at all? Or Esme?

[It's kind of funny. Refreshing, even. Unfortunately Donnie doesn't feel much like laughing. The subject isn't really one to laugh about anyway.

He shakes his head at the question. Back to his usual habits, retreating from the world, hoping to work things out. It's been working less and less these days, becoming more tempting to just hide in his room.]

...no.

Yeah... Me neither.

[She probably should. Check in on them. The ship was big enough to avoid Shockwave at least.

It wasn't that she was avoiding the others as much as she didn't know what to say. It was easier with Donnie, somehow. Maybe because she felt there was a bit of kinship there. Maybe because out of the three, he probably related the most.]

Are you going to?

I guess I probably should...

[About what, though? He knows what Anemone would say, and part of him still wants to be relieved that they might have found something to restore her father. That they'd found something to revert his brother to normal. It's like Anila had said earlier, right? But for lack of a better way to describe any of it, Donnie just doesn't... 'feel good' about any of it. Fixing someone's problems shouldn't involve someone else's payment.]

Yeah.

[Her tone mimics his as she fiddles with her beads again.

Suddenly she flops backward and starfishes on the floor.]

THIS SUCKS!

[The observation deck is empty for the moment, blessedly、 and the yell echoes around the room.]

Edited 2025-05-05 16:58 (UTC)

[After her more controlled grumbling, this sudden outburst startles him, the behavior to follow, completely un-Jedi-like.

He stares down at her, wide-eyed for a moment or two before he drops his hand from clasping at his chest with an exasperated sigh.]

[She lets out an exaggerated huff.]

Okay. Enough of all this. I'm tired and feel like drek. Let's go do something fun.

[She rolls onto her stomach to look up at him.]

You have that techno-magic stuff right? Have you ever tested it against a lightsaber? For science or whatever.

[Well, Donnie supposes that's one way to try forcing yourself out of a mood? He blinks at her before shaking his head.]

Not really, no.

Wanna try it out?

[Really, she shouldn't be so eager to use her weapon but this hardly counts, she's not setting out to harm anyone and it would be nice to let off some steam. Besides. This is definitely training. Definitely. And for science.]

You can say no.

[She is quick to clarify as she finally sits up again.]

But I'm definitely gonna go swing some stuff around and feel good about it. The invitation is open for you to join.

....

[He glances away as he considers. It would be far better than moping. And maybe it might be nice to hit something.

So he nods at her.]

...beats the opposite, I guess.

[Anila lights up and hops to her feet in one fluid motion.]

Great!

[Okay, chill it out a bit. But it's hard not to want to counter the gloom that has fallen over them with blazing brightness. She's all too aware though, that sometimes that kind of energy can be off putting.

She offers a hand down to Donnie.]

Have you trained with Cal at all?

[Again he shakes his head as he gets to his feet, taking her offered hand.]

We talked about it, especially since he said he was familiar with using a staff-style.

[She tilts her head, tapping her fingers against her hand again as she thought, leading them out of the room.]

Well, not much can stand up to Lightsabers other than other lightsabers and beskar, mostly. It'll be cool to test your magi-tech though, but that staff of yours probably won't hold up.

[She looks at Donnie and drifts down to his arms.]

Probably best not to test the gauntlets.

[This comes as a conclusion to an unknown conversation she had with herself in her head.]

Not like I have my staff on me anyway. Cal did mention beskar. I doubt you have the molecular formula on hand...

[He glances at his hands, curling his fingers in. He bets they could probably hold against a lightsaber but when it comes to testing such things that are actually a part of him, he's not as eager to volunteer.]

Mystic-tech it is.

[She makes a face.]

Definitely do not.

[Anila looks at him curiously, folding her hands behind her back.]

Would you be able to make some if I did?

[Donnie looks a bit sheepish at being called out then. He stuffs his hands into his hoodie pocket, not at all still silently entertaining how well they'd hold up.]

Yeah. I could just change something else into it. That's how I upgraded my tech-bō from titanium to Cybetronian-grade metal.

[For all that Amalgamous Prime was a jerk, Donnie hates to admit that being able to change things into other things is...pretty convenient.]

[Fingers tap against palm in a flittering pattern as Anila thinks.]

Well, I'm not all that smart when it comes to all that sciencey stuff, I'm not even sure Beskar even exists in this universe, but I wonder if there is a metal that does? We at least know that whatever Cybertronians are made of is still susceptible, but I wonder if there's something stronger?

Guess that'd be a science project for another day. Testing metal samples against your lightsaber. Wonder if Cal's already come across anything.

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