thepurpleone | Cyberformed [] Inbox

[It's hard to be comforted when he knows they wouldn't have told him. He's not particularly mad that they'd gone on a mission without them so much as that they hadn't mentioned it to anyone. The one he'd gone off on hadn't been secretive or anything, but then neither had there been any expectations to run into slavers and then nearly watch the whole team get slaughtered.

For a good moment or two Donnie doesn't say anything, hearing Anemone's words, turning those sentences at all possible angles, trying to read in between imaginary lines because why, why would they feel the need to insist... why? Is it him overthinking things again? Is it really so wrong to just...

No. Of course not. How can she expect him not to be concerned?]

Are we though?

[This troubles Anemone to her core, and she doesn't know what to say now. Are they fine? It's clear that they're not. That she's not. The several long seconds it takes her to answer seem to stretch into infinity. It was only when she thought about what her father would do when she finally answers.

She gives a soft sigh, before answering in a very quiet, small voice.]

I thought... I thought if I told you, you might insist on coming. I don't... I don't want you to get hurt anymore because of me.

Not again.

You deserve better than to be worried all the time and it just... felt like something that had to be done.

I'm sorry.

[The quiet that follows his question doesn't really help settle his anxiety. It's a painful silence, especially when he wonders that maybe there won't be a response coming.

He lets out a breath when Anemone finally speaks up again, not realizing he'd been holding it in.]

I can't not worry about the people I care about. If there was a switch for feelings I probably would have broken it by now trying to just...

A-anyway, I'm just glad you both came back.

[Donnie's half-admission speaks of layers, and Anemone's heart breaks for him some more. Why can't she just do right by him? It should be easy. If she was just good and did nothing, than maybe so many things could be avoided. A good girl doesn't cause so much pain to the people she cares about.

She finds herself thinking about losing her memories. It had felt good to exist without the weight of her flaws on her for a couple hours. If only there was someone out there who could just scoop all the bad parts out of her and then maybe she could be happy. Maybe Donnie would be happy too.]

Yeah.

[It's honestly in this moment that Anemone decides that she can't let Donnie come with her anywhere dangerous again. She can protect him by just not telling him about it.]

I care about you too. A lot. I just want you to be safe, that's the most important thing to me.

[How ironic that that was a proposal Donnie had been staunchly against. Rewriting Anemone to forget their trip and everything terrible that happened just sounded so wrong. He loved every part of her. It wasn't her fault that the world around made things so awful for them to deal with.]

Then you know how I feel about you. I can't stop you from doing anything dangerous any more than you can stop me, and I don't think we even get to make that decision sometimes because things just happen...

But I meant what I said back then. I don't know if you remember. But we're here for you. I'm here for you, and that's my choice, and everything that's come with it.

[Oh. Anemone's resolution wavers slightly, because she believes in his sincerity, and her own willingness to keep on lying shames her. She should be better than this, and her own frustration at herself cuts at every surface of her core.

This time around though, Anemone will listen. A little unhappily, perhaps, but she'll listen. Donnie deserves more than that, but this is what she's able to give.]

You really know how to hit me right in the heart.

[If they were physically in the same room right now, she'd hug him.]

I guess I should tell you then... I was planning on going to an abandoned Cybertronian facility in a couple months to collect materials for my project. It shouldn't be too much of a big deal, but in case things go super wrong, I wasn't sure if I wanted you to be there.

I still think that maybe you should stay behind? But...

[At least she's listening, really listening. Not having evil voices in your head probably helps a lot there too.

It's not quite a laugh so much as a breath he lets out then. Better his words than anything else hitting her there, so far as he's concerned.

He clutches his communicator as she speaks up again, tensing again just a little. No, this is Anemone actually telling him what she means to do. It's a big difference, and even if it hurts a little that she admits she hadn't meant to let him know, at least she's telling him, and that evens things out some.]

...would you be mad if I didn't want to?

Maybe if you don't tell the others?

I'd rather not have you or your brothers get hurt again because of me, so I'd rather not have you guys along, but I know I can't stop you.

[There was a chance that Leo would want to come along too if he knew, and Anemone would really like to minimize the potential turtle suffering if she can.]

They'd say the same thing I'd say, and that's to stop blaming yourself for what happened. None of them fault you for anything that happened. I don't.

But I won't mention it to them if you don't want me to. Anyway, I could help out. I'd like to think I have a good grasp on Cybertronian tech. And I've been working on a new battle shell and my ninpō thing.

[Anemone laughs softly at that.]

Yeah, I guess doing it without you is hard mode. Just be careful, alright? And you don't need to worry about me, I'm not as fragile as I used to be.

Are you busy right now? Let's watch a movie or something.

Doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful too though, right?

[But there's a smile in his voice. He's just glad she's including him now. It makes him feel loads better now that they've aired things out, but he doubts he has the attention-span to work on anything right now.]

No, I'm not busy. I can do a movie. I can bring my projector to the observation room and we can set it up on one of the walls, how's that?

Edited 2024-01-19 18:05 (UTC)

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