thepurpleone | Cyberformed [] Inbox

Not hungry.

[Probably a lie, he hadn't really eaten much of anything. It wasn't from being uber-focused on a project though, Donnie's actually having a time trying to do just that right now, not with Leo there, not with knowing that he'd been lied to. Well okay, having it confirmed that he was lied to.

He can't keep things up, not without risk of damaging some delicate fittings, and this sort of thing needs to be precise. Donnie shuts off his welding torch and sets it down, finally fixing a look at Leo.]

So. Were you ever going to actually tell me?

[Was this better, or worse? Hard to tell at this point.]

I mean...maybe? Eventually.

[Leo drew one knee up, resting his arm and head on it as he looked away.]

It wasn't supposed to be a big deal.

Neither was going on a scouting mission to a lava planet. Or camping on Iskwiyac.

[Donnie looks like he wants to say more but Leo's clearly not seeing that there was a problem here and Donnie can't figure out why. He pushes away from the worktable.]

[Leo looked like he was going to say something, but he was interrupted when his comm buzzed and he pulled it out with an exasperated sigh, as if it had been ringing non-stop all morning. His attention was pulled away from Donnie as he typed out a frustrated message. This whole thing was a mess and it was all thanks to that doc.

He slammed his comm face down on the desk with a scowl.]

Maybe I'm just tired of everyone acting like I'm going to die or disappear or get trapped in another dimension if I leave your sight for five minutes. I mean, Mikey gets a message I got hurt and decides I was dying! What's With That! Maybe I wanted to go on one mission without it being treated like the end of the world, for once!

[He shut his mouth with a snap, turning away in a huff. He hadn't meant to lose it but his nerves were nearing their limit. "Cause I was gonna fuss, but you don't like me fussing. Or any of us". Darn right he didn't like them fussing.]

If you go on a mission and get hurt, I get reamed for being a bad leader. If I go on a mission and get hurt, I get reamed for worrying everyone. Tell me how I'm supposed to tell you guys anything without being wrong.

'sides it's not like I'm the only one keeping secrets. Am I?

[The reminder that Leo at some point sacrifices himself with the potential of never being seen again makes Donnie stiffen.

He rests his hands on the edge of the table, trying to push past the ringing of his ears as his thoughts turn inwards, Leo's rant sounding so muffled despite him being right there in front of him.

You don't understand... Does anyone? It seems to be increasingly difficult for some reason, and Donnie's starting to wonder if it's just him that's the problem, that everyone's operating on some other level, some future thing... He had no idea anyone had gotten mad at Leo because he'd gotten hurt on that mission, why would they get mad at Leo? The whole concept of Leo being a leader is still so very weird to him but now Leo's words are finally coming into focus and it's turning into an accusation, or at least it sounds that way.

Metal screeches under Donnie's fingertips, fingertips that are like claws.]

You don't understand, you're not even trying to understand!

[The screech of nails on chalkboard shocked him out of his rant, his whole body stiffening. His fingers curled around the edge of the desk gripping it tight, and his gaze dropped to Donnie's hand, brows knitted at the sight of his brother with claws. That was new, right?]

Don't understand what, Dee?

You. Lied. And you're not even sorry about it! Maybe you're tired of getting nagged for things and forget that I'm two years behind and don't know half of what any of you have gone through but I think I have a right to be concerned when my brother's not there all of a sudden, or when he comes back looking like he got wiped across the Battle Nexus floor. But okay, fine, if you don't think I should care, then...then fine.

[He drags his hands from the table, leaving deep furrows as he looks at his claws almost dispassionately, feeling emotionally spent. Not caring. Can he do that? It was easier on paper but he never realized how hard it is to actually try being emotionally unavailable.]

[Leo faces his brother, looking distraught, looking like he had been sorry about it but knew apologizing now wasn't going to do anything.]

You being two years back is the only thing that's made this feel normal, Donnie! You're the only one who hasn't been acting like I can't be trusted to act on my own, like you aren't just waiting for me to- I don't know- get myself killed or something.

[He slumped into his shell a bit, staring at a loose bolt on the floor.]

Sorry for wanting to keep it that way.

....

[Donnie inhales slowly, trying to scrape himself together. He pulls his chair over to sink into, drawing up his knees.]

But nothing's really normal here anymore. And I try to ignore the whole time-gap but it's so hard.

I've...been wanting to talk to you but I just kept missing my chance. I didn't want to tell Mikey yet because I've already made him cry enough. Raph...I don't know if he'd understand. You're the only one who would.

"You didn't want to tell Mikey because you've already made him cry enough." You don't say. Almost like, you didn't want him to worry?

[Leo echoed Donnie's word's back to him with a snarky if gentle tone, a rueful smile and raised brow on his face. Gee, didn't that sound familiar.]

Well I'm here now. Guess it's something to do with how un-normal this place is?

[Donnie pouts at that, ducking his head behind his knees as he hugs them tighter, as though he can make himself smaller. How dare you throw things back at him like that!

Even then, he's deliberating, still hesitant to say.]

Promise me you're not going to overreact?

[Because he knows his brothers. He knows they want to keep him safe, but sometimes it just feels like they think he's made of glass.]

Dude, at this particular moment, that would be pretty hypocritical of me wouldn't it.

[Leo hadn't quite gotten over the whole exchange with Mikey, but given this whole spat was because he was annoyed about his brother's overreacting, he was not exactly in a position to argue.]

[Donnie doesn't look completely convinced at that, but he very slowly unfolds himself from the chair, setting his feet down as he holds up one of his clawed hands. The claws shift back into the regular stubbed tips of their more familiar fingers and thumbs.]

...the Keystone Gauntlets were made by Solus Prime. Not that she introduced herself, but...when I was activating the guardian on Iskwiyac... that's when she 'spoke' to me, through these.

[Leo looked down at the gauntlets with a frown, but they didn't look any different than they had the last few months.]

Oookay.....following so far.....and?

[Donnie reaches out to put his hands on the table just beside the marks he'd made in it.]

They weren't attuned to me until I tried helping you and Anemone. Until I finally connected with the rest of you and with my ninpō.

[Glowing purple lines trace along the black stone, and the scars in the metal table smooth out again. Donnie pulls his hands back, the purple light fading.]

It's...part of me now.

[Well that was pretty cool, actually. Leo was struggling to see the downside here as opposed to when they first attached themselves to Donnie.]

Weren't they like that already?

[Donnie shakes his head, watching as the last of the light fades. At least it doesn't feel hot if he's doing things like this, but then he wonders if that's just because... He grimaces at the thought.]

No. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to do this.

[He concentrates and flexes his fingers, watching them elongate into something akin to Soundwave's ridiculous digits, but he needed to demonstrate something impossible.]

Ooough.

[That was so weird looking! Leo's eyebrows rise as he looks on with a muddled expression. The gloves were from Solus, the transformation ability amalagmous gave him transformed objects. Those were almost certainly Donnie's fingers.]

Oooooohhh!! Dude?!

[The pieces clicked into place and Leo leaned forward to grab Donnie's wrists, gently turning his arms as he inspected his hands. To his credit, he managed to keep his reaction low-key enough to keep his promise.]

You know, I always figured when you decided to become a cyborg it would be like. Crazy metal sci-fi tech, not uh, ancient...stone..alien tech?

[His tone was a little joking, but it didn't have his whole heart in it.]

It wasn't like this the whole time, right?

[Donnie manages not to protest when Leo grabs his wrist, tolerating his brother's inspection while he holds his breath. He gasps a weak laugh at that, a weird facsimile of a smile tugging at his mouth.]

Yeah, I know, right? Funny thing, that's sort of what Princer told me. A magical turtle cyborg, haha...

Kind of a bummer but at least the black's not bad, I guess. And it came in handy when I had to fish you out of that gross water.

[He lets his fingers revert to something less elongated and pointy. How does Soundwave even do anything with those, he has no idea.]

No. The Gauntlets- Solus said they amplify the will and power of its wearer, but that power comes at a cost.

Black's always classy, dude.

[Between Donnie's purple gloves, elbow pads, and his tech bracer covering them, they almost looked like they were just longer gloves. Not that that was what Donnie wanted to hear right now, probably.]

That cost being your actual arms? That seems like kind of a bum deal for you. Can you just not use them?

[It's basically how he'd been treating them before, and with his brothers all sporting more uniformed arm wraps, he didn't feel so completely out of place unless he thought too hard about it.]

Well... No~t exactly..? [He sighs.] The arms are just a start. Given what Princer told me, it might keep spreading. Solus said I'd pay for it with my organic flesh.

So. Not so yay..?

[At least he's not freaking out about it, he's mostly moved past that stage, but then when the person who delivers the news to you is someone like Princer, you're pretty much on your own in weathering that sort of thing.

He looks at his hands again. Leo's solution is really the simplest, not to use them. Donnie figures that so long as he isn't trying to do something like heal his severely injured friend's body then it won't demand so much from him. But that's not exactly the easiest thing to establish a baseline with for limitations.

The silence is telling; Donnie'd use them again without hesitation if it seemed like there was no other option and Leo probably knows it.]

[The silence stretches on as Leo too thinks about what had driven Donnie to use them last time. He'd have done the same thing if he was in Donnie's place, no question. He was the least person to be saying anything about not doing reckless stuff to save people.

Eventually he lets out a huge sigh, almost a huff.]

Well if I gotta report on everywhere I go, you better not be thinking you can keep it to yourself if it gets worse. And...try not to use it, if you can.

I wasn't trying to keep it from you, I just...

[He shakes his head. They've been down this road. But he's finally gotten it out, and he feels a little better about it.

His sigh's more of a tired one, but he's glad that's one less weight off his shoulders, if only by a bit.]

Pretty sure you'd be able to tell if it got worse, but yeah. I'll let you guys know.

[To the last, he nods. At least he can tell that Leo understands enough to not be forcing him to make impossible promises.]

Ok, yeah, you got me there.

[Kind of hard to miss if the gauntlets kept growing (or Donnie changed up his look to hide them). That was kind of the whole morale of this particular series of poor decisions wasn't it? That they all had to look out for each other? Leo still wasn't entirely sure if he was in the clear, but at least Donnie wasn't giving him the silent treatment any more.]

Also you really should eat the burrito. Maybe warm it up first, though.

[That gets a tiny bit of a smile at least. Donnie wasn't going to put the entire blame on any one of them when he knows it's been a collective issue. But maybe now they can be better about it.

He blinks, looking at the burrito that he'd up until then completely forgotten about.]

Oh right.

[He reaches over to pick up the limp thing. Cold burritos really are the worst. However, the microwave's all the way up in the recharge-slab-turned-rec room so Donnie vetoes that idea.

If he can make stuff out of his mystic-tech, why not for regular use? He knows perfectly well how a microwave works, and it doesn't take him long to bring one into being, right there on the worktable. He opens the translucent door, plops the burrito in and closes it again, hits a button.]

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