thepurpleone | Cyberformed [] Inbox

Mikey relaxes a bit as Donnie fits into his arms and only now can Mikey really feel the difference. It was subtle, Subtle enough that Mikey didn't actually notice at first, but he's always been the most touchy of the brothers, he's very aware of size and over two years, he had obviously grown a little.

His breath shudders and he lets himself cry, unashamed and feeling wrung out with it all, but still somehow relieved to finally have an outlet for things he didn't realize were still pent up inside. He pulled Donnie a little closer and to his surprise his brother was the first to speak.

"I'm here now. I'm sorry it took me so long." That is a loaded statement. He says it like he ever had a choice. That being said, if he had been given one, to go or to stay. This Donnie or the one he left behind, what would he have chosen? If he had the choice to go back now, would be? Could he?

Donnie doesn't know how it works. He's not sure if the space bridge has just pulled them from places and caused some kind of fragmented timelines, but then Leo seemed to go back and forth without anything changing, and when he'd first come, he hadn't even known Donnie had vanished earlier on.

Were there timelines where one or the other or all of them were absent? He's not sure he wants to know how any of those would go. Not having a full set of them just seems wrong all across the board. But he also knows that even here, things aren't certain. They could be taken away just as abruptly as they'd been brought to the ship. It could have happened with Leo, and it was only when his brother had come back from a future point that the potential that he could have not come back at all had crossed Donnie's mind. He'd shied away from that thought and refused to think about it ever happening.

But instead of losing brothers, they gained an extra one. And then after that, Raph and Mikey had come. Things would be okay, at least he'd thought it would, but he knew right off the back that things weren't the same, not exactly. He hadn't wanted to say anything at their movie party, he'd just been so glad to see them all in one place, right where they should always be; together.

Donnie shakes his head, not even trying to pull away. Feelings are exhausting. But this is okay. This is a natural state of being, and he can pretend it's all Mikey being his usual clingy self even if he's returning the favor, even if Mikey's arms encircle him so much easier than they usually would but it's okay, it's fine, they're fine, they're both here.

It is very rare that Donnie would let Mikey hold him this long. Mikey, out of anyone, often had the most allowance for this kind of thing, but even on the best of days, Donnie often had a limit. It only made Mikey feel all the softer for it. He never wanted to let go. Banish all thoughts of leaving or staying or what is left behind or kept, this is what he had right now and if he was capable of anything, it was treasuring a moment.

It seems so silly now he had come at this with the stupid glasses and his ridiculous little persona, but maybe it was worth it in the end.

"Hey Donnie," he questioned softly. "Mind if I sleep with you tonight?" Having all four for a snuggle pile snooze fest would have been the most ideal, but for now, just this would do.

He's making up for lost time, that's it. Although Donnie supposes if that were the excuse, they'd be here for days.

He eventually loosens his arms from around Mikey's shell, shifting just slightly enough that he can rub away those things that were definitely not tears from his face. His brother's question coaxes a faint smile from him.

"...not at all," he says. The space he'd originally shared with Leo up on top of the Cybertronian-sized slab that made up a bed had been fine with one brother but several more had quickly proven more than he was willing to have around his workshop/lab. But for tonight, having one Mikey over is perfectly fine.

Mikey lights up as Donnie agrees. He is still a little run down with emotions and he hadn't really expected Donnie to say no. (Though, if he had, Mikey would have been crushed).

"I promise I won't be too clingy!" He says cheerfully. They both know it's a lie but the heart is there. At least he won't take up too much bed space, but that sure isn't the issue here.

"So, does this mean I can call you "little bro" now?" A phrase he absolutely will not use, he wasn't a fan of being called little by Raph and Donnie is still his big brother, no matter what. But c'mon, it is a little funny and he has to get Donnie's reaction at least once.

There, all painlessly settled. Donnie carefully extracts himself from Mikey, reaching up to pat him on the head, a familiar gesture.

All at once his expression sours.

"Oh. No. No, nonononono no, you are not 'little bro'-ing me, I absolutely draw the line at that!"

On my waaaaaay!

[Mikey is almost bouncing as he makes his way through the halls and back to Donnie's room, juggling a lopsided stuffed dragon he'd made using supplies he'd gotten back on the last planet they'd made a pit stop at. He supposed he probably didn't want to know where the yarn came from, but it was still soft and cuddly which was the point! He pokes his head into Donnie's room and whips the dragon around from behind his back]

I made you your own dragon, like mine! In case you want one. It's purple! [Announced with a grin, as if either of them haven't noticed] I made stuff for everybody, y'know? But I thought since you went to do whatever you went to do, you might need a bit of a pick-me-up, and uh...

[He finally notices Donnie's bandaged feet and that his battle shell is off, and pauses, blinking, his smile falling a bit]

Hey uh, are you? Okay? Don?

[Donnie's tensed as though expecting an interrogation, so he's completelty unprepared for a smiling face and...is that a stuffed animal?

He blinks, staring at it a moment before hesitantly reaching out to lift up its head. Plushies are more Raph's thing, so he's a little baffled at the presentation.]

For me?

[Well, he could have hoped that Mikey wouldn't have noticed- and oh, here comes the interrogation. No, not interrogation, they're just honest questions, why does he have to feel so defensive?

Donnie lets his hands drop, turning back to the worktable where said battle shell is laid out. The rotor portion has been completely removed and set aside, and it's clear to see why. One of them is missing and the one below it, somewhat mangled.

His response is a little evasive as he picks up his tools to return to work.]

Yeah, yeah- everything's cool.

[Mikey falters and lowers the toy, glancing from between the torn and missing rotors and Donnie's back, as it occurred to him what might have happened to Donnie if it hadn't been there. That makes him wince, and then hunch his shoulders as he debates what he's going to say because...

He's never quite certain of the boundaries of his new/old family the way he'd been with the ones from his own universe. He always feels uncertain whenever he nudges at what might be a tripwire]

You, um. You can talk to me about it, you know? Whatever happened? I know that-

[A pause, and shuffling a bit to the side to get a better look at what Donnie's doing, without quite being at an angle where Donnie would be forced to show his face. He catches himself hugging the toy he's brought for Donnie]

I know that you aren't used to telling me stuff, but I won't get mad or anything I just... You can, you know? Talk to me. If you want to.

[Stalling, that's what he's doing. Donnie's picked up his tools but he hasn't really applied them to anything just yet. He should probably sit at least, but so long as he's not walking around too much, his feet don't really hurt.

His shoulders start to hunch up a bit as Mikey comes over, and he forces himself to relax, dragging over the rotors to start taking apart the damaged portions.]

What's to talk about? I went on a mission, stuff happened that we didn't expect and I watched most of my teammates almost die but we all got out of it somehow and took down the slavers we were fighting.

...so... it's fine. Everything worked out.

[Mikey almost takes a step back, uncertainty and hurt twisting what was left of his smile. Maybe he was right, and he shouldn't have pushed when they were still new to each other]

Yeah, well, that doesn't sound fine. [He mutters it down at his feet, sounding defensive, himself] Leo said I have to find a way to relax, but- [He bites at the inside of his cheek the way he always does when he's worked up] But then you say that, and- [He hunches in on himself even more, hugging the dragon closer before he sets it on the nearby chair, instead]

Just tell me to go away if you want to. Otherwise, that isn't talking. Brothers are supposed to talk. It's one of the rules, even if it feels hard or stupid, or- or- [He sags] Or... I dunno.

[Silence. It lasts for all of two seconds before Donnie's tools clatter on the table.

He rests his hands against the edge of it, closing his eyes as he drags in a breath and releases it in a slow sigh.

Shouldn't have said anything. There's no reason he should have said it. But Mikey had asked. ...that isn't talking to, that's talking at Donnie knows a lot about being talked at. His face pinches at the thought, his fingers curl along the worktable surface until both his hands are fists, still propping him up as he leans there.]

...it wasn't. It was terrible. Sorry if you came here to relax, I don't think it's happening so long as I'm around.

[He pushes away from the table and walks over towards a beanbag chair he might've borrowed from the organic's hangout room, but with his flight shell out of commission and his feet still tender, getting up to his regular sleeping space is a literal pain right now. So this'll have to do.

Donnie flops down facefirst into it. Maybe if he's quiet enough, Mikey will go away.]

For the first time since the Feelings Jam started, Mikey laughed. He went back in for one more quick hug. Tight but brief.

"Man, I have sooooooooo much to catch you up on!" Never mind the kraang or shredder or any of that, Donnie hasn't experienced some of the greatest stuff to happen in the last two plus years for Mikey and the rest of the brothers.

He pulls up a rolly chair and sits in it backwards as he spins himself back and forth and launches into a story about the 7th annual Lair Games. Somehow far more exciting and trecherous then the previous year.

[Mikey wavers, then picks the toy up again and shuffles over to set it beside Donnie's head before he crouches a few feet away, wishing again for his own dragon. But not, for once, for his own brothers, because there was a brother right in front of him and he was hurting]

I just came here to be with you. That doesn't have to mean it's fun, if you aren't feeling fun, it...

[He looks away, and rests his head on his drawn up knees, looking away from Donnie's vulnerabilities because it made his stomach hurt to look at them]

I'm sorry things were awful. If nobody's said it yet. I'm sorry things turned out scary when you just wanted to help. I figure that's why you were there cause, that's a constant with any Donnie. [He lets out a shaky laugh that wavers up and down] Maybe I lied cause you don't have to talk, if you don't want to. I can just- I can keep you company, maybe? If that's okay.

[No one really had. His brothers had been all shades of worried and upset at him and what had happened but... Well, it's always Mikey, isn't it?

Mikey had opted to just sit with him too. Mikeys always know Donnies best, maybe.]

...

[Donnie says nothing as he just seems content to lie there for a moment. It's just too bad it's so hard to breathe against a beanbag, otherwise he wouldn't mind staying in this position.

Eventually he shifts, rolling onto his side, letting himself sink more into place as the thing conforms around him. Maybe he'll just keep this one. It's really comfortable, actually.

His movement causes the plush to go rolling down in front of him, and for a while he just looks at it. Fancy meeting you here.]

...you can stay if you want.

[He's never been very open about sharing feelings things and whenever he finally does scrape himself inside out to do so it's always been exhausting. A lot of the time it's never really changed anything either, at least, not here, and he's not sure if that's someone else's fault or his, or if he should have been expecting something to happen at all. It's just a whole lot of things he isn't sure about and they're not exactly things he can just look up for a quick solve.]

[Mikey hugs his legs and nods, pressing his cheek to his knees as he looks away. Was this what it was going to be like, living here? His brothers leaving on their own all the time and coming back injured? The idea made his stomach hurt]

[He almost opened his mouth to start to chatter to fill the silence before he stopped himself. That wasn't what Donnie needed right now, it was what he himself wanted, and there was a difference. So he sat and he listened to the things in Donnie's room gently hum electronic hums that he'd always called breathing, back home. It was kinda soothing, he supposed]

[After a while, he started to mumble to Donnie] You don't have to say anything, but... I'm glad you're okay. And it's good you wanted to help. If nobody's said that, either. You're a good guy, Donnie. I'm proud, and all that junk. And uh... Nah. Okay, I'm done. We can go back to listening to your stuff breathe some more.

[Donnie meanwhile resumed his staring contest with the plush.

He's not surprised at all when the silence is broached by Mikey, but it would have been stranger if it hadn't. Mikeys never stay silent for long if they can help it.]

...

[His stone-coated hands pull the dragon a little closer. He's not sure what all Mikey's going off about his stuff breathing, must be more Mikey-ese of some sort that he hasn't parsed yet.]

We saved people. It was pretty close though, but we pulled through. But I don't know, coming back and being fussed at, it just makes me feel like I did something wrong.

[Mikey hunches in on himself a bit more]

Sorry. I dunno what's going on in everybody else's heads, but um. We're just thirteen, y'know? I don't really think about that very much back home because Master Splinter is always there to back us up and we had a new lair to be home after the mousers destroyed the old one, but everything is so big, here. And I don't just mean tall, I mean... I don't know... Important. It's not just the foot clan or whatever stealing stuff and being weird, or Karai and Leo having their weirder thing, it's big stuff.

[A shrug, and gnawing at his lip for a few seconds] You didn't do anything wrong. I think everybody is just scared. I get scared a lot, so... I get it. Maybe they're afraid of losing you when you all just found each other. I guess.

No we're not.

[The response comes out automatically. Age has been one of those factors hanging over his head ever since his other brothers arrived, so of course Donnie's quick to latch onto that tidbit.]

I'm fourteen. Fifteen, really. I've been here almost an Earth year so I think I'm allowed that much. ...but everyone else is like...suddenly two years or so down the timeline from what I know, and there's a huge gap of stuff they've gone through that I haven't so it's.... Just been weird. You know? Mikey's not supposed to be older than me.

At least one isn't.

[He wraps his arms around the plush, pulling his legs in some so his feet aren't dangling off the edge of the beanbag.]

We've always done a lot of stuff on our own. Well, I guess not alone. A lot of the time at least one other of us is along, but it's never been stuff like this. Dad usually stays at home watching TV.

[Sounds like Other!Mikey and the fam have had it pretty rough back there.]

...you're not wrong. I mean, I can't say I'm surprised. Everyone's always worried about me. I'm not big and strong like Raph. Not durable like Mikey or Leo. I just...want to prove I can do things too. I thought I'd be okay because I wasn't alone.

You're... what? [He had to stop there and press his face harder into his knees because that felt like getting smacked with vertigo. He'd known they were all different sizes than he was and stuff, but...] Y-you guys are how old? Really? That's just- I-

[He didn't know what to say or say or feel. They were supposed to match. They were his brothers, but not, and now they were all bigger than him, too? It didn't feel fair. His lower lip wobbled. He stopped and swallowed and gave a little laugh of his own, though it was admittedly strained, and changed the subject even though it was to one that was even worse ]

I... yeah. I feel like that back home. I get it. Back home, Leo's the leader and all mister strategy and Splinter Junior like Raphie calls him, Raph is all strong and does his stuff where he goes above the sewers all the time with Casey, you're the one who designs smart stuff and always knows what to do when we get stuck with technology or friggin, Stockman again, so...

Yeah. I get it. I get that wound up feeling in my chest at wanting to prove I'm not just... the extra brother. But it sounds like stuff is even worse here than it gets at home, and Leo almost- He almost died once back home. [His voice catches and wobbles, remembering that]

I dunno what the answer is. But... it's okay, being frustrated and stuff. I know I've thought of running off to do my own like, superhero kinda thing back home sometimes too, so it going that bad must feel... awful. Sorry.

Edited 2023-10-16 08:13 (UTC)

Raph's a year older than Leo and I, and Mikey's a year younger. That's how it usually works, anyway.

[Not here in messed up space bridge land.

Donnie looks over at Mikey as he listens to what the other turtle variant has to say about his home, blinking at the first part.]

Wait, wait, wait- Leo's the leader for you? It's always been Raph.

[And that's not even the half of what grips him as other!Mikey continues.

Leo almost- He almost died once back home.

Leo he... He sacrificed himself. He was trapped in that place and if I didn't... if we didn't bring him back-

The words of two Mikeys swirl in his head and it makes him sick. The memory of a badly injured Leo who wasn't his Leo comes up in his mind, x-rays of severe but recovering damages.

Donnie doesn't quite hear the rest of Mikey's words, squeezing his eyes shut to stave off whatever vertigo threatens him for this multiversal revelation, and he hugs that dragon plush tight against him.]

Edited 2023-10-16 17:40 (UTC)

[Mikey gapes at their not all being the same age, weren't they all babies together? That's how it works, right? But apparently not everywhere]

[Even worse, Mikey didn't realize the mistake he'd made at first, not until he trails off to notice that Donnie was hugging the dragon, and- And Mikey slowly rewinds what he'd said and blanches, realizing what he must've done]

Oh crud oh crud, Don, I didn't mean to-

[He starts to reach out towards Donnie but stops partway there, his hand hovering for a few seconds before he lets it fall] I shouldn't've- [His face crumples, and he drew back. His own Leo or Donnie or heck, even Raph would've known what to do. He was always screwing up, and he doesn't know how to fix it. If it were anybody else, he'd have offered a hug, but Donnies didn't like those...]

[Sometimes his brothers respect his space too much, maybe more so now. Did things change that much in two years? He's not that hug-shy, but perhaps he's cultivated his so-called emotionally unavailable bad boy image since.

...right now he just really wants a hug. So much so that he's actually hugging a stuffed dragon. The beanbag cushion creaks in that way that beanbags do as he shifts, as though he could burrow right into it.

Turns out, there are things in the universe that he would rather not know.]

...it's not your fault. You can't help what's happened where you're from, not any more than I can do anything about what's happened or will happen back home.

[He sighs, finally opening his eyes again, feeling more wrung out than earlier.]

[Mikey shifts at that and crawls closer than he had been before, and hesitantly rests a hand ever so lightly on the back of Donnie's shell, ready to take it back if it isn't wanted. He's not used to Donnie having a soft shell or the possibility of things going even worse with Donnie than they already felt like, either, and the combination has him hunching all over again but he decides that it is probably definitely worth trying]

Hey, so. I know I'm not good at all that stuff you guys are, but I am good at the touchy feely stuff sometimes. Maybe not as good at hugging as that dragon is, but kinda close. If you want it. It's okay if you don't, really, but uh-

[It must be super weird being around brothers that are yours and aren't. Maybe even worse than actually being by your lonesome because there's a reminder of what you could have and yet at the same time didn't quite. Or maybe that's Donnie's overthinking at work again.

He doesn't flinch as he feels Mikey's hand on his shell. Do other Donnies have the same one he has? It doesn't sound like this is a thing for this Mikey's brother, anyway.

Donnie looks down at the poor crushed dragon and loosens his arms around them, glancing at Mikey. This Mikey sure babbles a lot when he's nervous. Is he always that way or just because he's by himself here?

But even Mikeys need hugs, even when they're always the ones eager to give.

Pushing up and away from a beanbag seat is not very easy, but at least by then Donnie's compacted most of the filling into something stiff enough to support him. He lets go of the plush, throwing his arms around Mikey with just the tiniest sniffle that he'll deny ever happened.]

Cyberformed [] Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject