[Anila doesn't quite startle at the outburst, but there is a moment of surprise. The looks settles into something... different, careful but a knowing flickers in her eyes before softening.]
Donnie, the concern is great -- [and that whole scenario about what could only be describe as a temporary death is probably an issue for another time] -- have you considered that you did do something? No matter how scared you were, you still tried to do the ritual on your own, you fought along side the rest of us.
[She shifts like she might reach out, but ends up reaching up and fiddling with the beads on the left side of her head instead.]
You aren't alone in this. [A beat as she presses her lips together then turns her attention to him, making sure he had her full attention for what she was about to say.] Isn't it like you said to Shockwave back in that chamber? If you could have done more, would it have been enough? Say your right. Say you messed it all up and you should be blame for how the ritual went down, everything that happened to me, to Esme... Could you have done better? Probably. That's what you want to hear, right? That you're right? That you aren't good enough? But what about the rest of us? Do you blame us too? You would be right too. I didn't argue well enough, I wasn't strong enough, even with the blessing of the totems, it wasn't enough. Same goes for Annie and Esme, they hardly tried, didn't they? You can regret your mistakes, don't sweep them away with the wind, it's good to address our flaws and work past them, but when does it stop Donnie. When do you stop blaming yourself for things out of your control?
Cause this isn't just about Shockwave, is it? Or the ritual. It's about everything. All the things you try to fix and can't control. It's about your brothers and the Gauntlets and far too much responsibility being put on someone so young. Or anyone at all, for that matter. You should be able to help, Donatello, you should be able to protect those you care about, but not at the cost of making that all who you are. When do you help yourself?
[There is nothing harsh in her voice, it's calm, deep, concerned, but it is pressing. Pushing at that door she is now starting to see cracking open.]
no subject
[Anila doesn't quite startle at the outburst, but there is a moment of surprise. The looks settles into something... different, careful but a knowing flickers in her eyes before softening.]
Donnie, the concern is great -- [and that whole scenario about what could only be describe as a temporary death is probably an issue for another time] -- have you considered that you did do something? No matter how scared you were, you still tried to do the ritual on your own, you fought along side the rest of us.
[She shifts like she might reach out, but ends up reaching up and fiddling with the beads on the left side of her head instead.]
You aren't alone in this. [A beat as she presses her lips together then turns her attention to him, making sure he had her full attention for what she was about to say.] Isn't it like you said to Shockwave back in that chamber? If you could have done more, would it have been enough? Say your right. Say you messed it all up and you should be blame for how the ritual went down, everything that happened to me, to Esme... Could you have done better? Probably. That's what you want to hear, right? That you're right? That you aren't good enough? But what about the rest of us? Do you blame us too? You would be right too. I didn't argue well enough, I wasn't strong enough, even with the blessing of the totems, it wasn't enough. Same goes for Annie and Esme, they hardly tried, didn't they? You can regret your mistakes, don't sweep them away with the wind, it's good to address our flaws and work past them, but when does it stop Donnie. When do you stop blaming yourself for things out of your control?
Cause this isn't just about Shockwave, is it? Or the ritual. It's about everything. All the things you try to fix and can't control. It's about your brothers and the Gauntlets and far too much responsibility being put on someone so young. Or anyone at all, for that matter. You should be able to help, Donatello, you should be able to protect those you care about, but not at the cost of making that all who you are. When do you help yourself?
[There is nothing harsh in her voice, it's calm, deep, concerned, but it is pressing. Pushing at that door she is now starting to see cracking open.]